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(604):
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
(518):
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
(401):
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
(217):
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
(423):
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
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(303):
i walk into the kitchen 2 hours past curfew where my mom is making french toast and singing to lady gaga, am I blazed as fuck or what?!
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