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(231):
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
(716):
You told me to buy you 2 burritos because you'd throw up the first one.
(678):
Dude! You wanna help me adopt 8 midget babies every year, and be the only non-midget around, and raise them to think we're their God?
(217):
ya so the whole time he were having sex he kept making all these bad jokes... like he thought he was doing stand up or something "sex is like buckling a seat belt... you know... click!" so i was like "wtf" and he said it was awkward so he was just TRYING TO LIGHTEN THE MOOD WITH COMEDY. wtf.
(806):
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck." (1-806): Best pick-up line ever!
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(618):
IM FUCKING ROASTED! AND WE JUST CLEANED OUR BOWLS. THEY'RE SO CUTE! (1-618): I fucking love you.
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