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(410):
There's a little secret condom-sized pocket in my shorts..American Eagle breeds whores.
(479):
my mom told me how I was only here because my dad couldn't pull out in time.
(660):
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
(814):
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
(Anonymous):
Last night, "sheep can fly aslong as they have sexual intercourse with pigeons." MDT
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(618):
IM FUCKING ROASTED! AND WE JUST CLEANED OUR BOWLS THEIR SO CUTE!
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