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(801):
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
(303):
just walked in on my roommate on the crapper....at least he was wearing his snuggie
(858):
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
(315):
I just woke up 20 feet high in a tree, naked. How did I manage this?! Not Vodka. Jesus juice.
(336):
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
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(304):
I thought i was eating really bland smarties but it turned out they were just tums.
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