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(973):
i dipped my dick in fake blood and ran down my dorm halls screaming "VIRGIN!" and "PERIOD BLOOD!"
(630):
I am never drinking four loko again..I thought I had to fart and almost shit myself (630): Don't hate the Loko because you cant hang..bitch
(413):
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
(shabH):
man, i feel like a frickin penguin :S it feels so weird. MDT
(240):
I had asked my 15 year old daughter what happened when I came home last night. She replied, "You brought home some skank who was yelling about some guy named Rick, ate a whole box of oreos, drank a bottle of wine, and danced to Akon for 2 hours."
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(717):
you saw a kid that you thought was wiz khalifa, so you go on the ground and started crying because "life doesnt get any better than this!!"
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