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(267):
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
(806):
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck." (1-806): Best pick-up line ever!
(502):
while I was getting head last night, I asked her to take it all the way to the balls she looked up with worrie in her eyes looked back down loosened her neck and tried so hard and couldn't she started crying as I busted on her tears! Epic WIN?!
(781):
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
(903):
I can put cereal on my boobs and eat it. (1-903): Pix or it didn't happen.
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(717):
you saw a kid that you tough was wiz khalifa, so you go on the ground and started crying because "life doesnt get any better than this!!"
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