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(518):
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
(601):
I'm sooooo fucking fucked the fuck up that it's not funny and I don't know if I wanna bitch slap somebody or eat chicken wings
(613):
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
(239):
after running around for hours screaming "the flying ablogna monster will rise again!" i ran into a pole and was knocked out... i think i need to tone it down a bit on the drinking...
(781):
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
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(905):
R: almost anywhere i go i remember drunk walks down the streets S: itl be dangerous when you have a car
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