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(267):
i woke up from my blackout in a police station and asked the cop for a beer. then my parents came in to save me because i had a missing person's report out on me. i'm not sure if i should be proud or not.
(+61):
Dude i just had sex on acid last night. The walls were melting, the VCR was telling me to dance and the lamp was contradicting the VCR!
(864):
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
(281):
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
(580):
If a cow crossed a road and made the chicken birth the goat will the ducks still purr when the horses hatch the pigs (918): You've really got to start calling me when you smoke.
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(215):
Deffinitly just heard a 2 year old sing, "stuntin' is a habit" ...mom of the year award?
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