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(949):
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
(717):
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
(312):
Girl, I'm gonna love you like a snowstorm. I'm going to give you 8-10 inches and you won't be able to leave the house for 3 days.
(801):
Woke up and found a quarter in my vag... WTF
(513):
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
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(608):
hey im a nasty whore text me 574-7627
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