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(603):
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
(701):
(701) Dude moms is drunk on wine again I brought home that drunk chic from downtown (605) Oh really?? (701) dont tell moms she will tell the gf (605) Umm Yea this is the gf!!
(316):
I have to go to the store and get a pregnancy test... I'm scared (1-316): Oooohhh, get me candy!
(503):
hey i'm sticking to the floor! I'M A SPACETRONAUT!!
(rusink):
(received) man im banging the hottest tightest byotch as we speak in some guys bathroom (sent) dude unlock my bathroom door, get out of there, and give me my dog back f***ing rapist
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(215):
I was so high i sat on MDT thinking of things i could text you to get on MDT and then i realized during a BP commercial that i couldnt feel my legs
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