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(860):
If i dont take this shirt off mr krabs is gonna steal my loot and ive had it up to here with that fucking jew
(952):
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
(618):
Why is there a hole in my wall? (recvd): Last night, after 8 shots, you had a dance contest with your dog, got mad cause you thought you lost, and punched the wall.
(425):
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
(843):
My FUCKING CAT is DUCK TAPED TO MY FUCKING WALL!
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(732):
Hahaha I was in the shower shaving my vag and my mom walks in and goes 'you tryna bone too?!' hahaha
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