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(740):
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
(412):
I was so drunk last nite I woke up this morning and saw that I drunk dialed my own phone...
(248):
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
(603):
the smartest thing to come outta her mouth is... my balls
(414):
I overheard my dad in the bathroom talking to his testicles.
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(732):
(551): I can't believe we had sex without a condom again last night... (1-732): Well did you take your birth control? (551): Yea...i took it last night...with my beer.
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