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(718):
Dude I thought she was cumming, then I realized I was taking a Golden shower.
(520):
I wanted to get an abortion, but my boyfriend needs new tires more.
(585):
(sent): I am learning the Ninja Rap by Vanilla Ice dance in my room. Is this why I don't have a girlfriend? (rec): lol yes it is!
(221):
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
(817):
Dick caught in zipper, I repeat dick caught in zipper!
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(215):
yeah! wtf i'm terrrible, i just explained to kayla how to get beer by saying "give me a peice of cheese"
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