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(707):
For the first time in my life some guy drum rolled my boobs.
(847):
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
(727):
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
(602):
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
(859):
So at first I was pretending to be drunk..now I'm too drunk to do that.
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(774):
I been out with three guys tonite and did not get any dick wtf
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