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(510):
so i was playing this awesome car racing video game, then i realized i was actually driving... so blazed.
(936):
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
(513):
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
(901):
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
(724):
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
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(319):
I didn't want to go to work today so I called in and said I had explosive diarrhea
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