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(201):
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
(518):
two people were getting it on in the bedroom so you drilled a 5 inch "peep hole" in the door... yea she's pissed about the damages but i'm just wondering how the fuck you manage to get your hands on a power tool every time you're drunk
(Anonymous):
Last night I texted. "So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was embarrassed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized" MDT
(845):
(sent) do you like getting your ass spanked girl? (rcvd) who doesnt? (sent) good, im gunna slap you like a hillbilly beats his wife in the trailer park.
(937):
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
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(254):
Why is there something about you that makes me want to talk and hang out with you? And don't say your penis
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