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(575):
We need to talk about our relationship. (403): I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
(732):
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
(570):
i've got good news and bad news..good news: i finally hooked up with that hot chick. bad news: she puked all over your floor and didn't give me time to take out my copenhagen so i just kept spitting on the sheets. thanks for letting me use your room, i gotta head back home.
(267):
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
(520):
dude i just got a ticket from one of these speeding cameras. (Rec'vd): oh that's not that bad. (Sent): yea dude it is. there's a picture of me naked riding across the intersection on my bike.
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(908):
do you remember why i was meowing at the fish and licking my lips last night?
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