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(269):
We got drunk and then she did that thing again with my ass and it was sooo awesome, why don't more girls do it (sent): You seem to enjoy that too much! (Recd): This is just between me and you right? (Sent): won't ever tell a soul.
(575):
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
(210):
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
(815):
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
(724):
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
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(845):
ah shit your boy can't go out tonight i gotta explain why there's beer on my shirt and condoms in my pocket to my mom lol
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