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(817):
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
(410):
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
(908):
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
(724):
I found a receipt for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. I think thats where my dog is.
(330):
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
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(916):
(Sent) my kitty Kief ran away (Rcvd) Ugh im sorry fruit (Sent) It's okay. :[ just Kief is gone, im sad, im high, im hungry. life sucks.
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