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(804):
You know your wasted when you say "five second rule" aloud when yr totally alone, and it's just a peanut
(954):
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
(562):
my mother is so drunk that she is singing while sitting on the toilet. At 1am.
(813):
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters (1-813): What is a male extremity? (813): i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
(+46):
Fuck this. I'm going home with that really tall guy with red hair. He was the only one i could find in the crowd. And he has an own bike. (10 min later) No he doesn't. He just stole one. Where the fuck are u guys? You have to come and save me. (30 min later) Scratch that last one, the bike broke and now he's giving me a piggyback ride home. THIS SHIT IS AWESOME!
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(954):
wtf is a silly band ? is it like a new condom ? (954) no you idiot like 5 years are obsessed with it, kinda like how mel gibson likes to go on his rants
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