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(501):
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
(601):
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
(828):
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
(250):
Fuckk man bad experience last night..she wanted to fuck in her parents room and i wasnt sure, but we started fuckin and she wanted me to fuck her in the ass.. i did and her fuckin parents came home and opened their bedroom door and i pulled out to fast and she shit all over there bed then i puked cause it stunk so bad.
(513):
wanna hear a joke about my Dick? nevermind its too long... (1513): wanna hear a joke about my vagina? never mind you won't get it... (513): that didn't turn out as funny as I thought..
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(724):
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
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