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(216):
I have way to many boy problems. (1-216) My only boy problem is that my god damn boyfriend wont fucking put out.
(920):
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
(765):
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
(414):
I saw a Deaf girl wearing a shirt that says "la la la, I can’t hear you".
(765):
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family (812): Not even marginally surprised
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(978):
you should find out where the eggs come out and put up a tiny no trespassing sign for my lil guys
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