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(612):
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good. (763): haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
(256):
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
(516):
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
(704):
dude, she chapsticked her asshole with that seriously I saw her...
(304):
I went to pull my candy bar from my purse and pulled a trojan out instead.
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(303):
so high, 40 minutes into the movie " the final destination" and i just know notice its in spanish!
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