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(845):
dude... did we get chased by an ambulance last night?
(Anonymous):
(rec) i just passed my driving test! come pick me up and we'll go get drunk to celebrate! (sent) wtf? you've been driving for like a year, and you never had a licence? (rec) do you wanna go drinking or not? (sent) be there in 10
(516):
Dude I have no idea where I am, but my pants are burning on a cross and there's a radio blasting some Iron Maiden. I don't know if I should be scared or really happy right now.
(631):
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
(718):
You were to drunk to get the keys in the door so you smashed the window open with your head
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(208):
(S) dude, were playing baseball with a watermelon and a samuria sword, get over here. (R) i'm at work bro, save me one.
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