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(585):
Sharted in my coworkers bed last night after the Christmas party. This is why I don't sleep naked.
(610):
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
(469):
FYI if you go to KFC and want to get the pink bucket for breast cancer, don't ask for the Boobie Bucket.
(770):
you said you were going to break up with me because i wasn't an elephant.
(501):
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
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(734):
You poured pop on some girls stomach. (734): ? (734): You where so drunk I was able to convince it was beer. But why you poured in on her stomach, idk.
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