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(308):
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
(203):
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
(954):
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
(831):
Why the hell did a picture of your cooch show up on my phone (rec'd) WTF????? I SENT THAT TO MARK! (sent) no, evidently you sent it to your whole contact list
(858):
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
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(678):
my mom made cookies, i got high and ate all of them, am i going to hell?
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