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(201):
I'm sitting in 90 degree AA meeting room, and the guys next to me pulled out a pocket knife and spent the meeting turning his loafers into open-toed sandals.
(516):
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
(803):
(sent): "Who was dressed up as a cop?" (rec'd): "What?" (sent): "At the halloween party, who was the cop?" (rec'd): "Nobody was dressed as a cop." (sent): "Well like a FBI agent or something?" (rec'd): "Nobody was dressed like that, why?" (sent): "Hmm..just some mysterious handcuffs."
(212):
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
(631):
im sooo high but philosophy class has never made more sense!
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(306):
Dude I just snoodled my finger. Fuck im so alone
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