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(763):
lesson #1: never fart in a guys face while he is going down on u. - MDT
(504):
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
(414):
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
(940):
Teach me how to dougie (1-940): Alright, you're gunna need a pen & paper, some chapstick, a condom, m&m's, and the desire for sexual intercourse. (940): The m&m part confuses me..
(207):
sent: They are having a priest come and bless our floor because we have been doing the Ouija board. reply: I feel like a Catholic college wasn't the best idea for you.
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(816):
by the way we're now twins. just threw up in my sink
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