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(512):
Dude you should've seen this bathroom stall, it was like I had to clean up Heroshima before I could drop my Nagasaki.
(314):
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
(972):
while working in a nursing home, one of the patients wet herself. While I was trying to wipe her, she said, "Quit playing around and get in there!"
(410):
There's a little secret condom-sized pocket in my shorts..American Eagle breeds whores.
(919):
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
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(724):
i'll fat a fuck bitch
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