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(308):
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
(+41):
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
(920):
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
(630):
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
(845):
so i was looking at our pics from last night, & i gotta tell ya, you looked like a blow-up doll
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(732):
When we asked why you were leaving for boathouse you said to everyone: "I'm going to get my dick licked"
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