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(619):
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
(914):
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
(631):
omg that weed was so good, haha you pointed at my cat and said "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT" screamed, ran away, tripped, got up, kept running.. i found you 20 minutes later in the back of my little brothers closet sucking your thumb and crying hysterical.
(603):
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
(780):
I want to be a part of you (1-780) awe... not like a Siamese twin right..? (780) No, more like an awesome cyborg consisting of both of all of our organs.
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(336):
my mom just said "we're going to talk about last night, i had some strange guy sending me text messages that said i hear you need my cock.."
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