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(301):
My eye burns... When I puked it splashed back into my eyes. Damn cheese. -MDT
(201):
so i woke up this morning and masterbated while thinking of three different guys. does this make me a whore?
(514):
Tell me Jay, are boobs a factor important egnof to determine the women of our lives? because i swear i have THE PAIR in front of me.
(330):
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
(512):
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
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(717):
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
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