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(931):
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
(330):
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
(860):
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
(814):
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
(225):
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
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(270):
I was getting a blow job from this hot chick and she looks up and says "your silly band glows in the dark? That's awesome!" best night ever??!!
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