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(914):
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
(414):
(Sent) I just fucked the graveyard shift manager at McDonalds. (Rcvd) So. (Sent) She's married and her husband works the morning shift. I'M THE FUCKING HAMBURGLAR.
(617):
he took my bra off without taking my shirt off and then he fingered me in my kitchen all while my parents were upstairs wide awake...good night?
(512):
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
(206):
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
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(917):
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
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