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(417):
I'd like to slip u a roofie and a viagra and just f&*^ the shit out of u ;p
(513):
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
(618):
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
(414):
take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
(713):
He tried to question my intelligence. So i bitch slapped him with my mind.
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(270):
My brother randomly told me that unless he's wearing underwear, his jungle of pubic hair would get caught in his zipper. Thanks for the lovely visual.
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