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(419):
Every time someone said something to him he replied with Eminem lyrics
(469):
Oh my god I'm so high. I accidently swallowed half of my gum and it's holding on by a string and dangling in my throat. It's fucking miserable.
(616):
she said she wasnt ready for a commitment, but then we fucked till I was outta condoms (1-616) best breakup ever???
(514):
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
(513):
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
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(618):
s; ur hot, have nice tits and im drunk. b there in ten min. r; ur ugly, have a mullet, and im sober. u've got ten seconds to leave or ill mace ur ass.
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