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(850):
I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis". Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one."
(704):
sent: i just got a bike stuck in a tree. received: how? sent: climbing trees with a bike
(250):
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
(316):
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
(706):
(706) dude i don't remember v-day at all..the last thing i remember is you telling me your gf cheated and is pregnant (770) yeah, that was at nine a.m. then you threw me a beer, said happy valentine's day, and we didn't stop drinking until you passed out at midnight beside the coffee table. (706) wtf best valentine's day ever!
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(845):
i can't find my house (1-845): we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago. (845): i'm pretty sure my house moved.
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