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(971):
Only my parents would take away my birth control as a punishment..
(239):
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
(520):
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
(314):
I was so drunk I had to makeout with my eyes open to keep the room from spinning
(931):
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
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(919):
It was a god damm undercover sting operation! RUN!!!
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