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(715):
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
(612):
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
(972):
Was Casey a nicegirl when u dated her? I have a date w her tonight playa.. (214): Yeah man, she enjoys having musty, sweaty, salty ballsack being jammed down her throat
(763):
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
(306):
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
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(414):
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud? (262): Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
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