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(919):
(Sent:) I'm a sexy warlord. (Rec'd:) Your a fat gaylord
(610):
no lie I was honestly going to try and take your underwear off until I noticed it was your tanline.
(419):
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
(612):
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar (651): If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
(423):
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
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(218):
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
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