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(936):
Studies show that sucking dick takes away the ablility to talk. Now i know why you text & never call. Stay strong u little cocksucker. lol
(413):
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
(304):
I think drunk me is hiding something from sober me....drunk me always deletes my text messages and browser history....I need to set up a video camera to catch me.
(910):
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
(905):
She wants to screw... sleep with cats soon.
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(845):
i'm in a meeting idk where you a
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