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(909):
just ran into ur x at the gym!!! She wanted 2 know how u and ur dick were doing. I let her know that ur dick looks better with my lips around it and that things started looking up 4 ur dick once I got on top of it!!! High 5 later babe!!!
(215):
when your girl called you to tell u if you dont stop drinking and come home she is gonna tell your boss and you replied with "amanda they dont fire super heros, it just doesnt happen that way"
(802):
OMFG i just saw someone giving someone else road head and they hit a pothole. my day has been officially made. - MDT
(804):
I just vomited beer through my nose.....ive reached a whole new level of drunk
(616):
I noticed my girlfriend's laptop had a long word document up. She was writing a slash fic with Edward Cullen and myself.
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(484):
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
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1 year ago
yo i'm in italia
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1 year ago
godspeed!
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83002 (0 Points) 1 year ago
yo i'm in italia