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(520):
dude i just got a ticket from one of these speeding cameras. (Rec'vd): oh that's not that bad. (Sent): yea dude it is. there's a picture of me naked riding across the intersection on my bike.
(608):
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
(44111):
he was going down on me for the first time. we also found out his cooking gives me explosive diarrhea
(571):
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg. (202): Darwin at his finest.
(Joey):
did i ever tell you i threw up in your backyard just 3 minutes ago from puking my lungs from the 9 shots i took for you?
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(319):
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
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