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(510):
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted... - MDT
(586):
I pooped on him, it started to smell, I told him my gerbil died and didn't have the heart to bury him. Then he noticed his dick...
(609):
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
(shelby):
Last night i received "Whoops, I am somewhat positive I just peed on my parents bedroom carpet, might be needing to borrow your Windex?" MDT
(>>>>>>>>>):
Last night, i sent to a girl i liked "The smartest thing to ever come out of your mouth was a penis." I haven't heard back yet. MDT
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(270):
I decided to not go to a strip club for the second Saturday in a row, because I didn't want to appear desperate in front of the strippers.
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