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(906):
They stole my birth control, WE'RE FUCKED!
(859):
He asked for a vodka cranberry, handed the flight attendant a $50 and asked her to leave it open! "Sir, it's only an hour flight..."
(214):
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
(810):
my dad works at my school. for our senior ball dance me and my date snuck into his office and had sex. i jizzed all over his keyboard, i didn't clean it up...
(Anonymous):
Last night " Sorry babe, I will not be comin around sorry if you been waiting up I'm bein takin home by a police car" MDTxt
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(336):
(s)All I know is that I kept hearing bombs go off last night. (r)yeah because you kept throwing firecrackers in the fire!
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