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(609):
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
(360):
i love you. but only with your clothes on.
(612):
you convinced him you invented tomatoes.. and then he spent the rest of the night yelling at people for not asking for your autograph.
(751):
I just got attacked by a homophobic door. I have a bust lip and I'm not sure of the whereabouts of my shoes. All I'm positive of is Jack is a good pain killer. Love you fat bum xxxxx
(239):
recieved last night: she farted during sex! replied: did you stop? recieved: no but she did it again just as i orgasmed! sent: i just threw up in my mouth :(
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(209):
Why is there a burrito in my mailbox? (1-209): Idk (209): ... Should I eat it?
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