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(347):
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
(701):
hannah montana gave my 10 year old son a boner.. should i call the doctor?
(919):
I was walking on campus and I saw something out of the ordinary on a statue. I walked up to it and taped there was a plastic sandwich bag with crayons, army men, and a kazoo. On it was a "Hello, my name is" sticker with "The Duke Association for Inappropriate Joy. Take me!"
(973):
Winners don't do drugs, they just deal them
(253):
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
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(856):
sent: i wanna marry you and fuck you against the counter while you make apple pies rcvd: what?...i dont bake sent: oh sorry... i thought i said make apple pies
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