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(337):
are you awake? im in the park barefoot wearing a sombrero and giant t-shirt carrying a sign that says employee parking.
(208):
so my boyfriend take me 3oo miles away for a romantic night. on the way he stops at an adult store, bought me a vibrator, then we headed to the hotel where he proceeded to make sure i "got off" before we had sex.. then after great sex and a night of cuddling, he takes me to disney the next day... winn??
(+44):
(Rec) I know things between us havent been working for a while. I have noticed you buying lots of kinky underwear that I never see, wtf is that about? I think its time you moved out, Im sorry. (Sent) I've been wearing the kinky underwear for your brother and if you havent noticed its my apartment so you will be the one moving out. Cya when I get home
(502):
So I know things got rough last night only becuz my vag feels like a broken toy of Christmas and he's got so many bloody scratches on his back he looks like he got attacked by The Jackle from 13 Ghosts...
(313):
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
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(609):
dude you were so high last night that when you got pulled over you told the cop you werent rolling the window down because you didnt want the swine. thats why you have that ticket.
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