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(432):
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
(631):
You dunked your head in a jacuzzi filled with hot girls and said you were "bobbing for pussy."
(920):
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
(732):
You sent me 45 texts saying "meow".
(502):
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
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(609):
Why the hell is there so much silverware in here? Forks forks forks forks wtf
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