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(406):
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
(205):
ok well say i'm drunk and I sit down to pee. would that be acceptable or would I still be considered gay? (1-205): God, you don't deserve a penis.
(336):
Dude, we thought you were passed out, but everytime the announcer said the name of a guy on your fantasy team you gave a thumbs up...
(904):
dude, i jacked off to a picture of paula dean last night. any suggestions on how i should kill myself?
(985):
this morning i woke up to brush my teeth and realized my toothbrush tastes like vodka... i think i have a problem.
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(702):
If he tries talking to me during sex again, So help me God i will smack him in the face.. i'm here to fuck you not hear about your day
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